He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
