Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
