So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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