Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
