That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
