I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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