The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
