My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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