It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
