Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
