new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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