you told grandpa to call you daddy
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize