if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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