I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
