Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
