conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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