I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
