he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Girls should come with a carfax report
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
