Is it because I queefed?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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