just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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