dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
