i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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