I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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