I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
