she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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