Can Purell be used as lube?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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