Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize