your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
