I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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