Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
