who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
