Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
