Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
