I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
