Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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