he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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