i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
