We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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