Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
