So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
