Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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