So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
