Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
