i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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