please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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