theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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