Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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