dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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