u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
