In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
