My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
