she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
