Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize