Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
