I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
