On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
be right there i have to get my cape
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
