I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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