Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
