where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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