Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
