How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
