This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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